I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
3 2 1 whiskey
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize