Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
