dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
