she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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