Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we made out on top of his cat.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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