I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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