You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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