and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
