Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
