he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize