I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
