she woke up with a sticky ear
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
