butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
