Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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