You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
