Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
