And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
