just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
