i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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