i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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