I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
