if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
