Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
