So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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