i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She told me I should be a condom model.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
