32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
