Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
