So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
