I think i sorta joined a cult last night
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
