i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize