I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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