I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
