Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
