do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I want to have your abortion
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
