He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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