You can't motorboat a personality
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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