So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
