so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
