Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
