Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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