She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
