cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i believe in u and ur pee
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
