You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
