when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
