Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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