lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
