I heard we made out
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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