im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
