his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
