i don't like sucking hair
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there's paper in my vomit.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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