Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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