So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? đđ
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
If youâre wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You went after him with a sword while screaming âFAJITAS!â. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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