My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
