dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
